Businesswoman, Adeola Ojetola speaks with TEMITOPE ADETUNJI about how her daughter is frequently called a leopard, idol, or monster due to her skin conditions, vitiligo, and freckles
Could you share the story behind your daughter’s freckles and vitiligo, as you mentioned in an online video?
My name is Adeola Ojetola. I’m an educationist and also involved in the business of selling beauty products. I live in Meran Alagbado, Lagos.
My 15-year-old daughter, Ojetola Oluwatomisin, wasn’t born with freckles and vitiligo. I would say they started appearing when she was a year old. She used to be a very fair-skinned girl. Her skin type is unique — not just fair but also white, if I may put it that way.
When you noticed as a child that she had such a skin condition, did you make any medical enquiries?
Yes, I did. I took her to Ikeja General Hospital. Sunscreen was prescribed for her. They examined her skin and said there was no problem. Another time, I travelled to Lome, a city in Togo, where I visited foreign hospitals and consulted foreign doctors. I used various creams for her, including what is called ‘éla’ in Yoruba, to alleviate the reaction. It was at the hospital in Lome where I was advised to discontinue using any creams on her skin. They recommended using only a sun protector.
Is she your only child?
She is not my only child. She has one sibling.
During that phase, were you concerned about what was happening, and as a mother, what were your thoughts at that time?
As a child she was then, I wasn’t really worried because she was still young and the skin issue was just emerging. One source of peace for me was when the doctor said she only had a unique skin type and there was no problem. That assurance comforted me. However, as she started growing up and interacting with her peers, she began facing discrimination from others. This started worrying me, as some children didn’t want to mix with her.
Could you share a particular moment when you felt disheartened as a mother due to your child facing discrimination because of her skin condition?
There was a particular day when she returned from school looking moody, and I could tell something was wrong with her expression. So, I began asking her what was bothering her. Initially, she was reluctant to share, but as a mother, I persisted until she finally opened up. She told me that other children were laughing at her, teasing her about her skin, and she felt embarrassed. That was the day I felt devastated. Her emotions were so low that I had to find ways to uplift her spirits. She mentioned being called “leopard skin” and even “Monster” by some people. It was heartbreaking to see my child feeling so down because of that. I became deeply concerned as a mother; she struggled with low self-esteem for a while after that experience.
What class is she now?
she’s in SSS 2.
How has her father reacted and what contributions has he made to support her through these challenges?
I would say he’s stronger than I am because when I worry about the whole situation, he’ll just say, “Why are you stressing yourself?” He gives her the confidence to respond if anybody says anything negative. He gives her the boldness she needs. That helps a lot.
Was there any time, anyone gave you unsolicited advice about your daughter?
Yes, that was when I was listening to opinions from people, but now I don’t get that anymore because I don’t need it. In the past, some people have told me that she is probably an ancient idol, some would say they have something to give us to use for her, but we turned a deaf ear to them.
How do you support and encourage her, ensuring she feels safe at all times?
I think one bold step I took was going online to research her condition and also looking for someone who has a similar skin type issue. So, I looked for the lady and invited her home to speak to her. When she saw someone looking exactly like her, she felt comfortable knowing she was not the only one who looked like that. Even the lady gave her many things to read about online. She once told me that she is interested in modelling, and I think it is one of the things that would boost her confidence. Modelling is her passion, although I haven’t had the time to help her pursue it. Her schoolwork is demanding, and she hasn’t started yet. Maybe after she finishes her WAEC exams, I will make time for her. It will give her a platform to showcase herself as unique and bold.
How has this experience impacted your family as a whole?
There are negative aspects, but on the positive side, this has made me quite well-known. She is also well-recognised. People identify her so quickly. I can’t quite explain it. It brings visibility to the whole family.
What were the traits you saw in her that made you think she would love modelling?
Her interest in dressing, and her attitude. She also mentioned it herself. She loves fashion.
Aside from helping and consoling her, have you sought professional help such as counselling or therapy?
No, we haven’t done that. The only thing we did was invite someone who looked like her to talk to her. I’ve never seen her break down, and I don’t want it to get to that stage. The reason I invited someone with similar skin issues was to help build her confidence.
How do you think society can better address and prevent bullying based on physical appearance, especially in Nigeria?
Nigerian society needs to work on its mentality towards people who look different and are often bullied. In other countries, such issues are properly addressed. Nigerians should conduct research and educate themselves. Imagine seeing someone like her and referring to that person as an ancient god or idol. It is wrong.
What are your future ambitions for her, and how do you plan to support her?
I have many ambitions for her, but they are gradually unfolding. One thing I always tell her is that I will fully support whatever she chooses to do in life. When she expressed interest in modelling, I supported her. She also said she would like to become a gynaecologist and wants to learn other professions like hairdressing. I will support her dreams and ambitions.
Could you describe the signs that indicate she has overcome the emotional trauma, such as increased confidence or other noticeable changes?
I think to some extent she has been able to overcome it, but I know I still have to work more on it. We need to seek professional help to give her more confidence. One of the things that make me say she has gotten over it is that when we go out and I see people staring at her, she will be the one giving them the attitude of ‘What are you looking at?’ If anyone asks what’s wrong with her skin, she’ll be the one to tell them that it’s called freckles and vitiligo.
She has the boldness to speak for herself. Currently, there is this boldness in her; she doesn’t care about what people think of her, and her self-esteem is now very high. However, while going out with her, some people appreciate her skin while others pass negative remarks. Some even say they have spiritual remedies to give to me. I have to be strong to resist such suggestions because it has been proven medically that it is not an issue. It is just the skin type she has, and I don’t have to bother myself. I was just concerned when the bullying and discrimination started, but thank God she has been able to accept herself the way she is.
What advice would you give to other parents whose children are facing bullying?
The advice I would give such parents is not to succumb to any pressure. Embrace the gift God has given you, and remember that God wouldn’t give us something that would trouble us. They should find a way to manage the situation. It’s crucial to remain calm and supportive. Your child needs to feel safe and understood. Listen to their concerns without judgement and reassure them they are not alone. As a parent, foster open communication with your child. Encourage them to talk about their experiences and feelings. Let them know it’s okay to express their emotions and that you are there to help. Embrace and celebrate your child’s unique qualities. Remind them that everyone is different and that their individuality makes them special. Help them build self-confidence by highlighting their strengths and talents.