Discussing the significance of submission and other strategies for nurturing lasting and blissful marriages, Mrs. Oyeboade Akinola, a seasoned marriage counselor, engages in a conversation with AJIBADE OMAPE.
Tell us about how you first met your husband.
As a retired director of media at the Federal Ministry of Information, I’m Mrs. Oyeboade Akinola. Our paths crossed during our university days at the University of Lagos. While I played basketball, he led the football team, initiating our first encounter on the sports field. This led to us traveling together for competitions in Cotonou and Togo. Our bond grew stronger, culminating in our marriage in 1985 after we graduated. We are blessed with three biological children, two of whom are married, and we also have grandchildren. Apart from our biological family, we have mentored numerous spiritual and adopted children.
How many years have you been married?
We tied the knot on May 4, 1984, making it a journey of 39 years and still counting.
What qualities initially drew you to your husband?
Our attraction was almost instantaneous. While we started as friends, he confessed that he knew he wanted to marry me from the moment we met. Our parents, although devout Christians, played a crucial role in guiding our relationship. Their prayers and spiritual influence paved the way for our union. The support and blessings from our families cemented our love story.
Can you describe the early phase of your marriage?
Our early years were marked by simplicity and financial constraints. Despite the lack of material wealth, our love sustained us. We embarked on marriage planning right after our youth service, pooling our meager resources to set up our modest abode. The journey, although challenging, was filled with moments of joy and camaraderie as we cherished each other above material possessions.
Have there been any moments of regret in your marriage?
Regret has never clouded my decision to marry my husband, even during trying times. One critical juncture was in 1994 when a job transfer opportunity arose, but my husband’s wise counsel steered us away from it for the sake of our family’s well-being. Looking back, I see the wisdom in his advice, which ultimately led to better opportunities in the future. Our mutual respect and trust have been pivotal in navigating life’s challenges.
Reflecting on your marriage’s most significant hurdles, how did you overcome them?
Financial struggles posed a notable obstacle at some points in our journey. During lean times, we relied on each other’s strength and commitment. Our bond deepened as we weathered storms together, like times when we had to make do with minimal food supplies. Despite the hardships, our unity and unwavering love helped us persevere through the toughest moments.
Throughout their 38 years of marriage, this couple has faced significant challenges and moments that have tested their relationship. Initially, the husband had reservations about the food his wife offered him, but hunger drove him to accept it as a provision from God.
Another hurdle came in 1993 with the loss of their newborn child due to congenital malformation. This loss was followed by the wife facing life-threatening complications during the birth of their next child. The husband considered this childbirth ordeal as a major challenge, unsure if his wife would survive. Fortunately, she did, and they welcomed another child into their family.
Reflecting on the most memorable moments of their marriage, the wife emphasized the importance of resolving conflicts daily to pave the way for new beginnings. She highlighted the cherished moments of reconciliation that brought harmony back into their lives.
Despite the obstacles they faced, the couple found joy in their marriage by relying on God’s guidance and upholding principles such as submission. Their obedience to God’s commands and mutual respect for each other helped them navigate challenges and maintain a peaceful relationship.
Their commitment to resolving disputes and embracing faith in God as the foundation of their marriage has contributed to its enduring success. They advise aspiring couples to prioritize submission to God, emphasizing that allowing God to intervene can resolve crises and strengthen the marital bond.
Ultimately, the couple’s advice centers around recognizing the significance of God in marriage, underscoring the importance of maintaining a nurturing family environment for the well-being of children and society as a whole. By adhering to these principles, couples can cultivate enduring and prosperous relationships that withstand the test of time.