Often, the average Igbo man believes that his life is incomplete without a male child.
Recently, I received a message from a man detailing his challenging situation:
His marital troubles began when his wife, whom he described as difficult and prone to laying curses, left him. To escape the turmoil, he rented a separate apartment, where he found solace in a young woman he had previously helped.
Tragically, his wife’s departure coincided with their son’s accidental drowning, leading to further accusations and rifts in the family.
The man’s desperate quest for a male heir led him into complicated relationships, eventually resulting in two births, one of a boy and the other of a girl.
Now torn between two partners, he faces familial disapproval and personal guilt, as each woman comes with her own set of challenges and virtues.
In the midst of this turmoil, it is crucial for him to reevaluate his priorities and choices.
As an outsider looking in, my advice to him is to reconsider his beliefs about male offspring and appreciate the value of any child, irrespective of gender.
Reflections by Oby:
Children, regardless of gender, play significant roles in our lives; it is essential to recognize and cherish them for who they are.
Ultimately, children who care and support you are the ones truly valuable in your life.
It is crucial for this man to prioritize his children’s well-being and assess the authenticity of his relationships amidst the chaos.
At the core of his struggles lies a deeper issue of emotional and familial dynamics, which require introspection and resolution.
Seeking validation through a male child may not address the underlying challenges within his relationships and family structure.